My Little Kingdom

A day in the life of me and my kingdom. Thoughts of a mother of four amazing little boys, a wife of an incredible husband and a woman trying not to forget about herself.

September 17, 2004

Thank You
Thank you for all of your comments. I've enjoyed reading them and am amazed there are other people who read my posts. I thought that I only had a hand full of family members checking 'em out. I'm glad, so keep coming back and please keep sharing your comments and experiences. Hopefully in a couple of months or less my site will be even better once my husband works his magic on the layout and design.

I've been a bit under the weather this week and haven't had time to post. But, I have lots to share so hang in there.
Thanks again!

September 08, 2004

The Big Question
The other night after getting up to comfort Isaac I couldn’t get back to sleep. As I lie there in bed a question popped into my head, a frequently asked question. “How do you do it?”, referring to raising three boys who are so close in age and still so young. Many people, especially when dressed alike, ask if they are twins or even if they are triplets. To me it doesn’t seem so strange however, once while going for a walk a lady came out of her house to the edge of her drive way and stared and kept staring. Finally upon our return as we walked by her house again, she, still standing and staring asked ‘are they all yours?’. Yes, they are all my mine and I couldn’t be more blessed.

Back to the question, “How do you do it?”. I’ve had family, friends and even strangers look on with awe and ask this question. Maybe it’s not so much as ‘how’ but ‘why’ and maybe it’s not so much awe as it is pure amazement that someone could keep up with three little tornadoes such as my three little boys. And that’s what Sunday dinners are like. My mother-in-law will testify to that.
My usual answer is ‘one day at a time’ or ‘prayer, lots of prayer’. While these are both very true as I lie there unable to sleep the answer came differently. Love. That’s how I do it, pure love. Love is one of the greatest motivators. We make sacrifices for love, we put ourselves in danger for love, we climb mountains for love…
When you love someone or something for that matter, the sacrifices you are willing to make may be great but they are worth it(in this case). It’s amazing what we will do for love.

I understand and know each of my boys. I know who they are and who they are capable of becoming. And it’s part of my responsibility as a mother to help them reach their potential. Some my shake their heads, but I knew my boys personalities before they were born. The nine months of ‘incubation’ gave me a great deal of insight as to their personalities. One never stopped moving, kicking, never slept and would even poke back when he was poked, he I even knew he was a picky eater. Another was more quiet and calm, and would draw away from being poked inside my growing tummy. While yet another was more in the middle a little of both. And so on. Knowing my children, their divine little spirits is key in understanding and getting through the rough moments. That they’re not bad they’re just curious, bored, frustrated, tired or they’re just past their limit. And knowing them helps me know their limits. I’m not always on top of it, but I try to be. And so when they are crying, screaming, bickering, getting into mischief… I think to myself, ‘this too shall pass’ and then do what I need to do. Remembering this is just a moment of many many moments, mostly good and mostly happy.

The good outweighs the not so good. I’ve learned it’s the bigger picture that makes or breaks the cake. I can either look ahead or I can be swallowed up and consumed in the mass hysteria that is swarming around my feet. Most of the time I am able to look ahead and solve the situation and return matters to a more pleasant state. I will admit that sometimes I am swallowed up and consumed in the mass hysteria that swarms around my feet. And I always regret it and realize what I should have or could have done better.

The great thing about love is that it is exchangeable. We love to be loved and we love to be loved. (in other words: we love in order to receive love, and we love being loved) There is nothing more sole satisfying than to look into your child’s eyes and to see that innocent pure love shining from within them. It makes it all worthwhile. I love my good morning angels, they sneak in and crawl in bed next to me pull the covers up and snuggle up as close as they can. Trying to be as quiet as they can as not to wake me just waiting for me to wake up and when I peek an eye open I’m greeted with the most beautiful sight ever. Their sweet smiles beaming from ear to ear and their sparkling eyes and the love is there, it’s pure, it’s visible it’s even tangible. Those are the mornings I savor and remember, not the ones where they are squabbling before I can get out of bed and I am the one pulling the blankets over my head.

I’ve found that having that love with me helps me see through their eyes, it helps me see the humor and the imagination in the moment.

So that is my answer, Love.

Cub Soccer.
Yes we have entered into yet another phase. A couple of weeks ago Everest started going to soccer practice. He never really got into it. In fact the coach tried to get him to join in and Everest points to the sky and says “LOOK, a dragon fly!” And that about sums up soccer practice. He wasn’t too keen on doing stretches and warm-ups. I tried to sit down and do the stretches with him but he leaned over and asked if I could go now. Ooops, my mistake, I guess that was embarrassing for him. Edison on the other hand really was getting into it. And when the coach had them all break out into a game of “Sharks and Minnows” Everest just stood there with a puzzled look on his face as if too say ‘I don’t know what you guys are playing but this isn’t soccer”. He was expecting to play soccer and this was anything but soccer. He wanted to get out and kick some ball. However, by the end of the third practice Cameron and I began to share that same puzzled look with Everest. Not once had there been any mention of the actual game of soccer. OK, I know this is cub soccer, how technical can you get. But, there was no let’s practice kicking it into the goal, no mention of what to expect at their first game, nothing. Just Sharks and Minnows. As he just stood there on the side while all the others where busy running around, I got up and went out there. As I approached him, he turned and whispered with his hand out in a stopping motion, “Mom, what are you doing out here?” Ok, I get the point this is embarrassing you. But, I took a moment to explain he needed to practice with his team…. it wasn’t happening.

So when game day arrived Cameron and I were anxious to see what he would do. That morning I asked if he was ready and excited to play. He said very concerned and thoughtfully, “I’ll have to think about that, I’m a little worried”. Apparently he’s gone to one too many of his dad’s soccer games, because he was worried the big kids would knock him over. And then there is Edison who is so excited to play and even has his own soccer gear and has to be included in it all or his heart is just crushed. Because his birthday falls in the month of October not in August he will not be able to play for another two years. And that breaks my heart. But, he is such a good sport about it and he comes all dressed and ready to play and he sits on his ball on the side lines and watches and waits.

Well the time had come and he wanted nothing to do with the field. He didn’t even want to go near it. While Edison is dying to get out on the field. Once they started he wouldn’t rotate in. Just as I reassured him that it was safe and no one was going to get hurt, a girl got nailed in the face as the soccer ball was thrown in. After some convincing we were able to get him on the field, with Cameron right by his side. So there is Cameron running around the field with a bunch of little four year olds and Everest is trying desperately to stay clear of them while trying to hang on to Cameron’s hand. He was so relieved when his turn was up. I gave him a hug and told him how proud I was that he tried. And asked him if he was ready to go out again, Shaking his head no as we witnessed two players running into each other and falling down. This wasn’t helping matters. Despite the minor mishaps he did go out two more times (with his dad right by his side avoiding the ball and all the little cub players). It was still a Victory!

After the game was over everyone packed up and left. We stuck around and Cameron and the boys practiced kicking the balls into the goals. Everest came alive and was kicking them in left and right, running his little heart out. Maybe by the end of the season he’ll be comfortable enough to play like that with his team. But, for now we’ll take the victories as they come.

Cameron and I have been learning a lot about parenting as Everest has entered into this new stage of life. Not only about parenting but we’ve been learning more about Everest and his personality and needs and more about us. It’s a delicate balance and there are many fine lines that need to be discovered and highlighted as we try and help him discover himself and become comfortable in the world around him. Over all I’m pleased with how we handled the game. We didn’t baby and pamper him nor did we force or shove him onto the field. We lovingly coaxed and encouraged until he was willing and ready to give it a try, even with his dad by his side. That’s ok, that’s what dads are for. And it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t play next time, I think the real goal here is that this frightening new horizon becomes positive and is a stepping stone for him.